I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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