Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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