But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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