So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
