what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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