i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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