I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
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