I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
