whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize