so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
