omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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