yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
