My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Randomize
