You're my little dorito
More tranny stories later!
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize