ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
