talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
