Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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