need another drink. this is the easiest way
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
