remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
