If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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