She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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