If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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