Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
