Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
