I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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