One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
