I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
