Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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