Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Less talking, more tequila
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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