It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
