I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
