i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
