I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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