Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
