Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
