I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
