she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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