he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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