Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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