the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
My pussy is not your playground.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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