that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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