And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
