my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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