you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
