Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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