I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just want nice things and good sex
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
