remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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