I want to stick my p in your. b.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
