Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
this just has baby written all over it
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Randomize