Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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