what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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