Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
