The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
