so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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