just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
