i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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