I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
